Archive for October, 2005

zombie

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

thank you for logging in…my name is ja9. how may i help you today?

daig ko pa ang nag-shabu…i’ve been awake for the past twenty-four hours. bket kamo? coz i forced myself to do something worthwhile by looking for a real job. and for the past weeks now i’ve been forcing myself to go to work everyday, constantly changing my sleeping patterns because of the shifting schedule, and now having had no sleep at all.

naranasan nyo na ba yun? yung tipong pagod na pagod ka na pero di ka makatulog kahit anong pwesto ang gawin mo para lang makatulog? that’s exactly what happened to me. i went home from shift yesterday at 10 in the morning. i slept until 12 noon. and i haven’t had even a nap since then. i had to report back to work last night. now i feel like a zombie.

ganun pala talaga ang magtatrabaho. my job isn’t really what i want. kung baga spur-of-the-moment decision. i suddenly realized that i’m too old to still be dependent to my parents. and besides, my job is well-paying. kaso di naman ako ganun kasaya. hindi naman kasi yun ang linya ko sa buhay ei. mas gusto kong tumugtog, magbasa ng mga nobela, mag-isip at magpaka-lulong sa kultura.

kaso kailangan ko talagang magtrabaho. tapos kailangan ko pang mag-aral. tapos kailangan kong pakinabangan ang pinag-aaralan ko.

kaya eto, zombie. buti na lang sembreak. sa second sem, patayan na talaga. aral sa araw, trabaho sa gabi, sideline sa weekends at pag may iba pang pagkakataon.

gaito pala ang epekto ng alang tulog. kung anu-ano tuloy ang naiisip ko. kakaibang pakiramdam pala pag naghalu-halo na ang kape, yosi, puyat at libreng Friday’s na pagkain. toxic na hindi. di ko din maintindihan. basta alam ko pagod ako. pero di ako makatulog.

thank you for browsing. have a great day (coz i’m surely not having one…)…