lunacies et al

this weekend my friend fiona frantically called me up while i am still at work. she asked me where jv is, i even thought she’s making a prank coz she knows about mike’s intel regarding jv’s whereabouts. i told her that he’s in a tour-of-duty in liberia, coz that’s what mike said. she answered me, "no, he’s here."

i am rooted on the spot. beads of sweat began forming on my temples and above my upper lip. i felt goosebumps, nausea and tension. what’s he doing here?!!! is it for real? did mike fail on his intel?

fiona told me he saw a soldier at the dmst compound where we stay. talkative as she is, she asked the guy if he’s from the air force, that having seen the shoulder patch. he said yes, he is from the air force and that he’s datailed at the general headquarters. fiona even told him that her husband is also at the ghq, though her husband is with the army. then the soldier said, "please say hi to janine for me."

so fiona asked her who he is. he said it’s jv. fiona was so shocked that she became both tactless and careless. she asked for his number, even telling him that i’ve been looking for him the the longest time. but he said he doesn’t have a mobile phone anymore.

so fiona called me up to tell me the story. i called up major samante to verify if jv indeed is in UP that day. he answered affirmatively, and even added that jv’s been asking about me. next i called on mike to tell him he failed on his intel - that jv isn’t in africa after all.

that night i couldn’t sleep…though jv’s always been on my mind, this time it’s different. i’m wondering how absurd it is to even think about someone who i thought was a million miles away and yet he was really so near. how absurd to even imagine how i would behave come the time i’ll meet him again and yet he was just here all the time. how absurd to constantly imagine myself cuddling with him yet i know it’s next to impossible…

i am having second thoughts as to how i would think about the recent events. should i go and look for him at the ghq? should i just wait for him to reappear at the dmst complex? should i go an extra mile to find ways to communicate with him again?

i am at a crossroad…i really want, even dying, to meet jv again - to hug and hold him tight. but i know it’s just not possible. the fact that he didn’t even have a cellphone means his girlfriend has put him in strict censorship.

am looking forward talking to him - to discuss so many things that’s been bugging me about our friendship…no matter what happens, he’ll always be a part of me.

my heart still is and will be for jv…