lunacies et al

se tu fossi nei miei occhi per un giorno

vedresti la belleza che piena d’allegria

io trovo dentro gli occhi tuoi

e nearo se magia o lealta

se tu fossi nel mio cuore per un giorno

potreste avere un’idea

di cio che sento io

quando m’abbracci forte a te

e petto a petto, noi

respiriamo insieme

protagonista del tuo amor

non so se sia magia o lealta

se tu fossi nella mia anima un giorno

sapresti cosa sono in me

che m’innamorai

da quell’istante insieme a te

e cio che provo e

solamente amore

i’ve noticed how pinoys love to disregard/disobey/neglect simple ordinances and rules of conduct. straight in your face, man!!! here are some examples:

1. high school kids/aged people/yuppies/bums who cross busy intersections while the green light is still on or cross busy highways such as edsa, commonwealth ave, etc. given this kind of situation, i therefore conclude that the philippine government has been overspending in its continuous effort to install traffic lights and build footbridges. given the traffic situation in the country, these people are actually risking their lives in their effor to "save time" doing the shortcut. so much for poor drivers who would find themselves in a road accident because they hit one of these "pedestrians" who appeared right in front of their windshields all of a sudden.

2. public utility vehicle drivers who loads/unloads passengers just about anywhere, whether dead center of an intersection or dead center of a busy street. so who’s to blame on this situation? it is the driver who grabs at any opportunity of finding a passenger even if he’s vehicle is faaaaar from the road shoulder or the commuter who is in such a hurry to ride/get off that the slightest slowing of speed would be the chance for him/her to do such?

3. overspeeding drivers. so much for adrenaline rush. intoxicating. especially if one is riding an ordinary bus plying the edsa route. one needs not to go to enchanted kingdom. absolute roller coaster ride. early date with st. peter.

4. spitters’ galore. one would see them anywhere. maybe it’s some kind of an occult with a mission to spread germs/virus/bacteria. i remember a friend who once rode an ordinary puv (read: no airconditioning, open windows). the driver has this habit of spitting every 10 seconds. twas a windy day. make a guess. spit went straight to my friend’s face. talk about sars/meninggococcemia/other contagious diseases that is transmitted through bodily fliuds. one more thing: eeeeeeewwwwwwwww.

5. pissers by. somewhat related to passers by. they pass and they piss. try passing by a somewhat long stretch of wall and voila! be welcomed by the stench of piss. no further explanation. go see a mongrel.

there are many more filipin(o)isms that i’ve observed. maybe i’ll add when the inspiration strikes. i look up to the author who published the 12 ways to be a better filipino. i do hope filipinos are literate enough to read, comprehend and follow the simple things that would definitely help in uplifting the bad image of filipinos.

are we really going down to the dumps?

For I am the first and the last

I am the venerated and the despised

I am the prostitute and the saint

I am the wife and the virgin

I am the mother and the daughter

I am the arms of my mother

I am barren and my children are many

I am the married woman and the spinster

I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated

I am the consolation for the pain of birth

I am the iwfe and the husband

And it was my man who created me

I am the mother of my father

I am the sister of my husband

And he is my rejected son

Always respect me

For I am the shameful and the magnificent one

-Hymn to Isis, 3rd or 4th century B.C.

I hate ironies, but my life seems so full of them.

How ironic to fall in love with someone who finds me too "male" that he treats me like his closest male buddy.

That this guy is my ex’s complete opposite…

That this guy likes my sarcasm but cringes at my sweetness…

That this guy tells me that my being too "male" turns off men whom I like, when in fact he is actually that one I’ve been liking for the longest time…

That this guy would tell me to be myself and let people (and men) like me for what and who I am; then tell me to to lose weight and show finesse for people (and men) to like me…

Sometimes I’d just like to say it straight in his face that I’ve completely fallen in love with him.

Then completely disappear from the face of this planet for fear of rejection.

just remembered one potion from Harry Potter: The Half-Blood Prince. Felix Felicis. Liquid Luck.

now i’ve got a new name for prospect. luck. how i wish i have my own vial of the potion. two tablespoonsful taken with breakfast. perfect day from dawn till dusk.

if i have my way, i would spend that perfect day with luck.  start getting close. hurrah!

sadly i am no witch. no felix felicis in this lifetime.

heaven intercede

been thinking about prospect. happy thoughts. wishing that they’re for real, though not in the near future. but who knows? the future’s big unexpected realm. things may happen or may not.

this afternoon he approached me. just asked for a simple favor. nothing spectacular. but he did touched me on one shoulder. simple gesture that made me feel warm. it’s one of the things i like about him. touchy, just like me.

how i wish i know how to approach him, how to get close without giving away too much of my intentions. ain’t hoping that we’ll be, not yet. at the moment i’m enjoying watching him at a distance. i just want his ways - those that i haven’t found in ex. bleak.

tomorrow’s a new day. time to work. first base.

i’ve just realized how lucky i am despite all the unfavorable things coming my way. i still have my family, my friends, my music.

just started with the new school where i’d teach piano. 3 students so far. not bad though. need to polish English for kids’ sake. now i teach in 4 schools. thinking about quitting one. loser. also need to rearrange daily schedule.

rackets. 2 church choirs in bulacan. private piano lessons. a chance to play jazz (yessss!!!!!) with musician friends. all i need to do is balance time and finances.

do i need to ask for more? boyfriend perhaps.

good vibes coming…

seems weird to be having crushes again. prospects. two of them. but the other seems so weigh more to me.

a friend and colleague of my ex. funny. i don’t even know why i’m attracted to him. responsible. leader. sweet. thoughful. dreamed about him once, sweet dream actually.

though i know i don’t stand a chance. committed. not even close with him yet. me? still thinking about ex from time to time. wishing for reconciliation. impossible. conflicts, priorities so different.

i’d like to have a happy christmas. want to spend it with someone special. maybe prospect #2 would do. just don’t want to be alone this festive season.

hello prospect! wish you’d notice me…

one night i was waiting for a ride back to UP from sto. domingo church in quezon avenue. twas an unusually windy night, for the past days there was not a single breeze that blew. with that gust of wind i suddenly realized that it’s september!!! golly, it’s -ber month again and in a few months (actually it’s gonna be like in a few days) it’ll be christmas. aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!

i dread the christmas…i dread the holidays…yet i don’t know why. maybe i’m just this freak who feels lonely during festive times. i’ve always been like this, well maybe not always, but since highschool, i guess.

i find christmas too happy, too sweet and too nostalgic. maybe that’s why i feel the opposite. and think of how long the preparation is. as early as now you’ll see on tv christmas countdowns; at the malls there are garlands and yule trees and everything christmassy… it’s too much hype. i just can’t bear it.

the long preparations, the anticipation…all for just one day, that is, Christmas Day. i don’t find it fitting to be preparing so much for something that will last for such a short time. maybe i’m just being cynical.

i’d rather go by the saying "to make everyday a Christmas Day." i’d rather have to spend christmas with family and friends. i’d rather just attend the midnight mass, eat noche buena at home and sleep the whole day through.

or maybe i need to consult a doctor for showing symptoms of depression. i don’t know…festivities make me sad. too much happiness give me the blues…

the cool breeze of the coming season makes me want to cry…

thank you for logging in…my name is ja9. how may i help you today?

daig ko pa ang nag-shabu…i’ve been awake for the past twenty-four hours. bket kamo? coz i forced myself to do something worthwhile by looking for a real job. and for the past weeks now i’ve been forcing myself to go to work everyday, constantly changing my sleeping patterns because of the shifting schedule, and now having had no sleep at all.

naranasan nyo na ba yun? yung tipong pagod na pagod ka na pero di ka makatulog kahit anong pwesto ang gawin mo para lang makatulog? that’s exactly what happened to me. i went home from shift yesterday at 10 in the morning. i slept until 12 noon. and i haven’t had even a nap since then. i had to report back to work last night. now i feel like a zombie.

ganun pala talaga ang magtatrabaho. my job isn’t really what i want. kung baga spur-of-the-moment decision. i suddenly realized that i’m too old to still be dependent to my parents. and besides, my job is well-paying. kaso di naman ako ganun kasaya. hindi naman kasi yun ang linya ko sa buhay ei. mas gusto kong tumugtog, magbasa ng mga nobela, mag-isip at magpaka-lulong sa kultura.

kaso kailangan ko talagang magtrabaho. tapos kailangan ko pang mag-aral. tapos kailangan kong pakinabangan ang pinag-aaralan ko.

kaya eto, zombie. buti na lang sembreak. sa second sem, patayan na talaga. aral sa araw, trabaho sa gabi, sideline sa weekends at pag may iba pang pagkakataon.

gaito pala ang epekto ng alang tulog. kung anu-ano tuloy ang naiisip ko. kakaibang pakiramdam pala pag naghalu-halo na ang kape, yosi, puyat at libreng Friday’s na pagkain. toxic na hindi. di ko din maintindihan. basta alam ko pagod ako. pero di ako makatulog.

thank you for browsing. have a great day (coz i’m surely not having one…)…